Descisions
by Thoughts of a Fallen Angel
Summary: This is my first story, and im still new to Fanfics, so go easy on me! Ritsuka and Soubi are fighting, And Soubi consoles him. one-shot.


Loveless: Decisions

I ran my hand through my still wet hair, loving the feel of my silky tresses on my fingertips. It was strange, not having my ears; flicking them when I was excited or annoyed, and the same went for my tail. I would miss wrapping it around my chair leg when I was daydreaming of flying,of leaving my mother's house,and of...Soubi.

'Speak of the devil', I thought as his arms wound around me.

''Soubi! get off of me, I'm all wet you idiot!'' I protested, struggling against him. He chuckled, a low sound that vibrated against the cord in my neck, and I melted. Damn him, he knew all my weaknesses, he _knew._

''But you're so warm, and you don't even have your ears as an excuse anymore,'' he pointed out.

My cheeks heated up as I thought of what had happened not a day ago. I inhaled, sharp and quick. This was it. I was eighteen, and an adult at last in all senses of the word, unlike Shinonome-Sensei, who still had her ears, although I had to admit she suited them nicely.

''Let me dry off, and then you can have your way'', I suggested.

''You'll just need another shower'', he grumbled, but left the bathroom so I could comb my hair and dress.

I smiled. My Soubi. Six years and I still wasn't bored of him, though it did grate on my nerves when he fought without me and injured himself, or decided to destroy his house with some crazy art project or whatnot because he and the Zero pair were bored.

I dressed quickly, already anticipating the soft downy of the bed as I slid in next to my Fighter, snuggling into his chest. Heat coursed through my cheeks as warm hands slid up my arms to cup my face, with Soubi intently watching my every move. His lips twitched as he took in my expression, making me lurch forward and capture them with my own for retaliation. I wound my arms around his neck, twining my fingers in his long hair as I pulled him closer. Our mouths and bodies moved as one, heat lacing the air around us tight with want;with need.

''Ritsuka...I love you,'' he breathed.

I lurched back, pain lancing through me. I thought of Soubi's promise to my brother Seimei. _When I am gone, you will be Ritsuka's...Tell him you love him always, even if you don't...Protect him,Serve him,Obey him. _

I winced as I repeated in my head the familiar mantra,its damning line looping through my thoughts. _Love him, even if you don't. love him, even if you him even ifyoudont. Lovehim,evenifyoudont-_

''**Ritsuka**,'' Soubi's voice interrupted my pain,along with the poisonous thoughts my traitorous mind forced on me.

_No, you don't. You're following orders, _I thought silently.

I unclenched the fist I had made, rubbing sore fingers as I retreated to the opposite side of the room,choosing to stare at the bed rather than into Soubi's calculating gaze.

''I...I can't do this,''I said,my own words eclipsed with the feelings of want and love that I _needed_ him to share with me.

Even as I said it, tears gathered and dripped over my lashes, blurring my vision as I turned to go, not seeing him leap up and rush over to my side. He knelt on the floor in front of me, taking my hand in his and kissing my fingertips.

''Did I... do something wrong?'' he asked uncertainly.

The rage and hurt that burst from me surprised us both.

''No, Dammit, no,'' I yelled, my throat burning. ''Because you're perfect; a perfect statue that does everything right and pisses me off with the fucking perfection of you!''

He was silent a long while before answering. ''Ritsuka... I am far from how you describe me. You, if anyone, know that...'' he said quietly.

''Don't deny it! You're tall, beautiful, strong, smart...and the magic you paint on canvas takes my breath away... even if you paint something as disgusting as me...''. I finished, unable to hold onto even an ounce of my previous anger. All energy gone, I crumpled down to his level, sobbing into my knees as everything that was wrong with my life crashed into my tear ducts and let loose the flood of my misery. The minutes passed by until finally my racking breaths calmed enough for Soubi to invade the silence.

''Aoyagi Ritsuka, how you came to make such a ridiculous assumption is what disgusts me, never you. And, yes, I know why you think that. As for your anger,the only thing that would give justice for the way I've neglected to tell you that I truly love you,is for you to punish me. Punish me as you should,as I deserve.'' he said simply.

I slowly lifted my head, confused. ''No you don't. Love me, that is. Seimei made sure of that when he made the decision to give the orders in the first place, knowing that he came first in your eyes.''

''mm-hmm, but what you failed to realize, love, is that it was _my_ descision to do everything since then, _my _descision to love you and hold you and take away all the burdens, even the purest one of all, and _my _descision to tell you as of now that I am in love with you, and will be always.'' he said fiercly, pulling me against him and softly kissing me, his warm breath fanning over me as he pulled me onto the bed, pain melting into pleasure.

Curled into Soubi's side, I absently trailed patterns on the smooth expanse of his chest before sitting up and clearing my throat.

''Hmm?'' he said.

''Soubi, how do you know what love even is?'' I asked as he raised an eyebrow at me.

''Love...is an energy that courses through you when you see the one for you. Love is the key to all your happiness, the medicine to all your illnesses, and the light to guide you through all the darkness', he said, his voice becoming stronger with every word, ''Love is when you exchange your soul for theirs, though all the while content to just give and not recieve. Love is air, love is light, love is free. But, for me, Love is when you give your heart to someone and hope to God that they don't let it fall...but you never hold any regrets, even if they do.'' he finished, his smile portraying that he believed all of this, and did all of it for me as I leapt at him, making a descision of my own: To love him with everything I have and fill every requirement and more.

_AN:_ Yay! my first fanfic! Working on another one at he moment, so ill be in touch. Read and Review, Please!


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